Her work has been featured at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere. She has a degree in journalism from Northwestern University, and she’s been trained and certified by leading sex and relationship institutions such as The Gottman Institute and Everyone Deserves Sex Ed, among others. In addition to working with individuals in her private practice, Kelly serves as the Sex & Relationships Editor at mindbodygreen.
Should i sleep with my ex how to#
Kelly Gonsalves is a multi-certified sex educator and relationship coach helping people figure out how to create dating and sex lives that actually feel good - more open, more optimistic, and more pleasurable. You may benefit from just writing a letter or email airing out everything you want to say but never actually sending the letter. But if what you want to say isn't beneficial to your ex's growth or their healing process-or you know they're not likely to learn and change their behavior based on what you say-it may not actually be necessary or fruitful for you to reach out. In addition to giving you closure, the information can help them learn how to not repeat their hurtful behavior in future relationships. Sometimes it can also be helpful to let your ex know the ways they've hurt you. Reaching out to apologize to an ex for your hurtful actions can be really meaningful to them, as long as it's about making them feel validated and not just about clearing your own conscience.
You also probably shouldn't reach out just to reiterate your point of view about what went wrong in the relationship, unless you really believe it'll help your ex feel better or grow. That means you probably shouldn't reach out just because you're lonely, sad, or horny. Ideally, you should only reach out if you really believe the communication will be positive for both parties.
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